Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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