READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
