I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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