Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
my poor anus
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
