I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
