I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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