You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
