Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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