I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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