i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Dignity is for republicans.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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