you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
