I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
