I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
