put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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