I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
