Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize