pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
