yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
