in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
