Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
