u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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