we're blogging at a bar
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Less talking, more tequila
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
