I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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