At least make sure they are 18
Why
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
