Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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