Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
