You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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