I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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