Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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