Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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