Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(424): View more from California

I'd wear matching sweaters with you

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(480): View more from Arizona

dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties

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(248): View more from Michigan

I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"

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(225): View more from Louisiana

Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....

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(817): View more from Texas

Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.

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(518): View more from New York

Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Can't be the first without the last

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(281): View more from Texas

If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.

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(480): View more from Arizona

All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?

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(404): View more from Georgia

So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?

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