In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
