well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
