Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
