Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Still dying that you shit outside
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
