no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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