I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
