wake up i wanna do it froggy style
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
