I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
