You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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