Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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