And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
