would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
