vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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