dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
she smelled like a LAN party
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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