Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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