It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I would ride that face into the sunset
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
