the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
