ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
