is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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